Archive for December, 2013

Happy New Year, or is it?

December 31, 2013


The total number of days between Wednesday, December 9th, 2009 and Tuesday, December 31st, 2013 is1,483 days.

This is equal to exactly 4 years and 22 days.

This does not include the end date, so it’s accurate if you’re measuring your age in days, or the total days between the start and end date.  But if you want the duration of an event that includes both the starting date and the ending date, then it would actually be1,484 days.

1,483 days is equal to 211 weeks and 6 days.

The total time span from 2009-12-09 to 2013-12-31 is 35,592 hours

This is equivalent to2,135,520 minutes.

You can also convert 1,483 days to128,131,200 seconds.

Today is 12/31/2013 and 12/9/2009 is exactly 1483 days before today.

I was curious as to how many days have gone by since D-Day.  I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast this morning, but I can conger up D-Day like it was yesterday, although I rarely do.  That probably explains my lack of posting this year.  It has been quite some year.  Or years.  

As New Year’s Eve approaches, I look back on 2013 for a brief review.  Some of the momentous things that have happened:

1.  I stayed at my last job for more than a year and made a couple of really good friends

2.  I started a job in the field in which I trained and was educated but left when my first child was born, almost 20 years ago.

3.  I got engaged to my BF/xMM in April 2013.

4.  My youngest child started high school.

5.  BF’s xW got engaged to her BF.

Who would have thought this year would have turned out this way 1483 days ago.  Don’t get me wrong – there are still some big issues but the affair has receded in everyone’s minds.  In fact, BF’s mother who villified me, now calls me for my thoughts, tells me I am a good influence on her grandchildren and sends me birthday cards.  Ironically, she opted to close her Facebook account rather than ‘unfriend’ the xW because she didn’t want to “hurt her feelings.”  Hmmmmm, really?  I guess some things will continue to surprise me.

As for being engaged, I’m not interested in it.  We still live in different states, 3-4 hours apart.  He still has a shitty visitation schedule and is incapable of changing it, so at most, we have 3 consecutive evenings together before he or I have to make the drive/ride/flight.  It’s disruptive to my life, seeing my friends, and feels a bit alienating lately.  We’re trying to “figure it out” but in a few more years, it will have resolved itself when my younger kid leaves for college.  The bigger issue is his kids – they are not nice, not considerate, not polite, not decent and know how to play their parents and adults in their lives.  I am at the end of my rope; BF is close and their mother doesn’t really care what they do or who they do it with as long as it’s not with us.  Too bad for them.  I have offerred to take them to the theater, to the museums, to shows and concerts but they would rather play x-box or stalk on Instagram.  They have no friends and don’t care.  Their mother takes them nowhere, expects nothing of them and her BF talks about trade school for his own kids, which she now tells her own is good enough for them.  Poor BF.  How he agonizes over this.  While I don’t blame him, I told him – they didn’t become this way overnight.  They have had their entire lives to become this way – including pre-divorce, when the issues were already there.

As for the future – we never really know, do we?  We don’t have a wedding date set.  Why would we?  BF’s daughter shared with me that her mother bought a wedding dress the same week she got engaged but hasn’t told her BF.  Funny how she continues to prove me right:  she cares more about being married, than who she is married to.  Yet BF/xMM felt guilty when his marriage ended, yet his xW never said “I love you and you broke my heart.”  She said “No one has ever broken up with me before.”  She was posting bikini pictures on (a subscription paid for by her mother) 3 weeks after her birthday trip to the Carribean (when she couldn’t be happier!) and saying she thought a divorce was best until 2 weeks later, when she was bemoaning her dating pool of men 10+ years older than she and xMM’s pool of  late 20-early 30 somethings, when in reality it was only me – 6 years older than xW and 1 1/2 older than BF/xMM.  So she’s engaged to a guy who in jest holds a knife to his own son’s throat, yells at her kids and is happy to make her his 3rd wife.  He’s happy to no longer have to rent a shitty little apartment in a crappy neighborhood and hold down 2 jobs to pay child support to his 3 kids and soon to be grandchild of his eldest, unmarried, waitress daughter.  But he is only 7 years older than xW.  And he hasn’t hit her.  Yet.  No matter how attractive she tries to make her life, how thin she gets, whatever trips she takes, at no point would I ever have switched places with her.  She doesn’t seem to get that either.

So, as we usher in 2014, I’m pleasantly surprised at how this year has turned out, where I am 4 years later and for the first time in a long time, I’m whistful about saying good-bye to 2013, but happily looking forward to the future.